As corny as some of these sound, the concept makes perfect sense. Part of our interaction with children is to teach by SHOWING them how to effectively communicate as we teach them other life lessons, manners, etc.
We have to start treating them as young "people" because well, they are.
If we wouldn't allow other adults to speak to us so harshly, why should we do the same to mere children?
Furthermore, the age old adage that "children should be seen, not heard" needs to be put to rest. We teach children the importance of timing and tact, key elements in healthy communication and building healthy relationships, when we allow them to speak their minds and express themselves. This also aids in healthy emotional/psychological development. No one likes to be "shut down" every time they attempt to share how they feel/what they think.
Of course there will always be exceptions based on specific children and situations but keep this thinking in mind the next time you speak to a child.
Really, taking this approach and working to be patient enough to ask our youth questions about their behavior/feelings helps to improve their comprehension and enables them to be able to think for themselves and adequately convey what they're feeling.
I tell children (and teens) all the time, "use your words" and "I need you to be able to tell me WHY you feel the way you feel or WHY you're behaving in this way".
When I was growing up, "I dunno" was NOT an acceptable answer!
Every day can't be the best day, but every day can be a great day! A great day is had when we find the strength to focus on being grateful for what we have and content with where we currently are. This is by no means a pass to become complacent but those moments will find that we are constantly and consistently growing and becoming.
There are going to be days when we feel like we're at a stand still or worse, spinning our wheels, digging ourselves deeper and deeper into Those days where nothing seems to be leaning in your favor, everything appears to be going wrong or falling apart.
But do not fret!
In those moments in life when you don't know which way to go or when you feel like you're not hearing the voice of God, give thanks and take that time to prepare for the vision as you see it. Preparation based on your vision will find you prepared to make a move once the move is revealed.
Find peace where you are while allowing yourself to become all that you've been created to be. Even trees continue growing while their seeds mature, until they are carried away by the winds...
It is VERY easy for people to fake success and even whole businesses via social media. Do not let a person's "clean" look, or even Jesus speak and talk about faith convince you that they are a legitimate company. Make certain to THOROUGHLY research and receive referrals from trusted agents before spending any money in support of an online business.
STORY TIME!
A few years ago, I was invited to write an article for a "magazine" that was
created by someone I'd met online. Although we met via social media, we eventually met during a trip to Atlanta and continued to build a personal and professional relationship. After months of supporting their "business", I discovered that the individual was charging people for ad
space and photo shoots for features in a magazine that didn't exist.
It didn't take much: He used his popularity between a few major cities, combined it with the use of a decent camera, worked the basics of a photo editing program, added in articles from a few writer friends, print and voila! I was excited for the brother when I saw he and his "team" with pics of the debut release -- the fruit of their labor! They followed all of those steps and had their circle of influence convinced that they have a legitimate publication!
I came to know about this "hustle" after communicating with a mutual connection from Twitter. This sister had been one of the supporters who paid for a photo-shoot and ad space. In this case, I turned out lucky. The only thing I lost was a waste of a great concept for an article. This sister, and Lord knows how many others, were out hundreds of dollars after expecting to share news of her business with a whole region!
As independent artists, it is most important to
invest in our brand. As with any investment, there are risks involved but do not be deceived by one's perceived success because of their presence online. With the technological age, doors have been opened like never before. Not only is this beneficial for a new wave of entrepreneurs but there is a whole new breed of people out here
hustling those who are truly working hard, legitimately using social media and the trust of others to make a name for themselves.
THIS is why I dislike the term
"hustle" in regards to hard work in business. "HUSTLING" is not
synonymous with hard work. HUSTLE is what people do to AVOID hard work but to
reap the benefits that generally come from hard work.
NOTE: Unless of course, you work for the Oklahoma Thunder. Please, hustle along!
We, as we've done with most matters of language, have changed the word "hustle" to mean various things by using it so loosely. Bottom line is, no one wants to be hustled and hustlers have never been viewed as trustworthy individuals. As for me, I'll be a hard worker all the days of my life but will never call myself a hustler.
It is my earnest prayer that people will always know me as a reliable and trustworthy individual. - *BEAM*
Note: If you would prefer to view the vlog based on this same topic, please see the video below! ;-)
I have recently had
mixed emotions about the sudden "trend" of sisters wearing natural
hair as I have worn my hair natural for the majority of my adult life after
completing my first "big chop" when I was 15 years old -- before there
was ever a big chop to be had.
With recent
popularity, I found that I began to take a somewhat elitist stance on natural
hair, making me no better than the sisters who choose to go natural or even
rock a "bald head" because it's the current "in" thing to
do. I was no better than the hair care/beauty industries, magazines and
advertisers who are riding this new wave to capitalize on the trend.
I
had to take a step back and realize that, from pop culture to politics,
sometimes it takes a trend or a "fad" to generate change in the
hearts of even one person and in turn, that one person can be the spark that
revolutionizes the world.
So, who am I to keep
the trend from growing into a true way of life?
As I've grown as a
woman and a “naturalista”, I am dedicated to not only sharing with sisters
the truth that "good hair is healthy hair" and that natural hair is
healthier hair but that living a healthy lifestyle overall enhances our beauty
in ways that go well beyond the way we wear our hair.
I’m no “natural hair
Nazi” who feels that all women should wear natural hair. My concern is for
sisters who feel they can’t wear
natural hair and be beautiful; those who feel their hair has to be “relaxed” to be “good”. My issue is the same for sisters
who feel they have to wear make-up, weave, false lashes…
But this isn’t about them right now…
This is about us. This is about those of us who have
somehow managed to “recondition” our minds to understand that we don’t have to
maintain societal standards of beauty. This
is about our position and the power that we have to encourage those sisters who
are still growing in their hair journey.
How dare we take an
elitist stance on something that many of us struggled with ourselves? Many not
so long ago…
Most of us were raised
by generations of women who depended on lye, weaves and wigs to fit into European
standards of beauty. As sisters attempt to renew their thinking, they should not
feel alienated because they haven’t “arrived” to where you are in your natural
hair revolution!
As with any other area
of life, growth and revelation are an ongoing process. For those of us who have
found comfort and confidence in our own natural texture of hair, we should be
encouraging our sisters in every way possible to feel beautiful, regardless of their current position in
life.
We don’t want sisters
to fail to see all of the benefits and beauty that comes with being natural. We
don’t want our lifestyle to not be received, or even considered, because of an uppity,
belittling attitude towards those who are still growing with us. As with
anything, presentation is everything.
***Quick sidenote/example: I hate math.
Always have and I’m certain I always will. Regardless of how I feel about the
subject, math was an important part of my intellectual, scholastic and social
development.
As much as I disliked
math, I wasn’t a total failure at because every so often, I would be assigned
to a teacher who was willing to be patient and work with my non-mathematical
mind, presenting equations and formulas in a way that I would understand and
receive. Their angle made the difference. Many were able to make it so that I
actually enjoyed the class! Who would
have ever thought...?
So, bottom line: Get
over yourself. In all things you do, seek to inspire others to be their best
and to recognize the beauty that was planted within them when they were
created. Sisters have it hard enough without us tearing one another down.
May the trend continue
to grow and may the revolution begin with you! To my sisters considering going natural, welcome to the club! Don't stop til you get enough! *cues MJ*
