Juice...FAST!

I'm kind of a big deal. And by big deal, I mean...I'm overweight. While I have learned to stand in confidence in this skin, I know that my fluctuating weight is due to inconsistent habits when it comes to my diet and exercise. Lucky for me, my weight is distributed rather evenly across my whole body...all 210lbs of me. 

At my heaviest (two years ago), I was 225lbs and a size 18. Standing just under 5'7, my then 31 year old knees  were in pain from the extra weight. I've always taken pride in having good posture but with my bulging mid-section pulling my weight forward, my lower back was in constant pain leaving me sitting and walking lazily with slumped shoulders.  

In late 2011, I'd finally seemed to find my rhythm. I was running consistently with my first half marathon in sight. I got down to 190 or so and was a strong size 12...or weak 14. ;-) In April of 2012, I ran my longest run and completed the Dismal Swamp Stomp Half Marathon (13.1 miles).

Shortly thereafter, I stopped running. I stopped exercising with exception of the occasional attempt to bring yoga back into my routine...kind of. I had, again, fallen from a horse that was racing towards the beginning of a very prosperous thirty-third year of life. 

Just months before, I had fulfilled the greatest physical challenge of my life! A FULL 13.1 miles?!?! And now, I'd fallen off the horse into an onslaught of weight gain...again.

Here I am nearly a year later and have gained back a significant amount of the weight. I'm winded taking the stairs and back to a "healthy" 210lbs. So...

...now what?

I'm longing for consistency. I LOVE the way I feel when my diet and schedule are in order. I've found that when I'm disciplined enough to continue growing in the natural and physical, my spiritual walk is far more disciplined...and vice versa. 

I've began a juice detox/fast. I chose this particular fast during the Lenten because it is both physically and spiritually driven. Here it is, day two and I'm feeling good. I'll be sharing my journey right here every with updates every Tuesday and Thursday beginning today. 

I know I'm not the only one to struggle with weight. But I'm sharing my journey with you all to help show you that, "weight" itself isn't the issue. The greater issue lies in our inability to practice discipline and remain consistent in multiple areas of our lives. Generally, when things are out of balance, our diet and exercise are the first to suffer.

I know that right now, juicing seems to be the trendy thing to do. But sometimes, it takes the ignition of a trend to ignite real change in the hearts and minds of people. I've enjoyed homemade juices for years but have never committed to it (consistently...dangit. There's that word again) for any extensive amount of time. As trendy as it may seem, I know that it's not going to be easy.  

Check back regularly, invite friends to subscribe and join me as I am inspired to inspire!

*BEAM* 

A Stone's Throw

When we look at the history of human nature, we find that morals are taught…or not. Even when standards of traditional morality are ingrained into our psyche, it is only a matter of time before something or someone comes along causing us to question what's right and what's wrong. Such doubt knocks us off of the safety of our high horse, sending us plummeting down into a depth of emotions and insecurities only held by us mere mortals.

Ego and pride sit in, clouding our vision and our judgment, often leading us to dig holes so deep that nothing or no one but the grace of God can lift us out…

None of us know the true reasons why a person does the things they do. Although it would appear that most behaviors are acted upon out of arrogance, that’s rarely the case. Even when arrogance manifests itself, it’s generally rooted in a greater issue; a lack of confidence, knowledge of self and limited self-worth.

All things considered, we must learn to be more gracious when it comes to the failures and sins of our brothers and sisters. With the increase in social media and ease of graphic design, it is easier than ever to “call out” those who are in the wrong. What we fail to consider is that at any moment, our own discrepancies could land us on the chopping block for all to see, criticize and judge.  

I personally have never been one for "outing" anyone, adding to or spreading already ousted information. I'm of the thought that people will suffer enough with the original outing of a particular offense. Some encounter familial disgrace, others financial collapse and others still, a combination of multiple instances of discomfiture.

From international pop stars to local celebrities, right on down to the average Joe, it’s easy to point our fingers, declaring how “low down” another is. On Twitter, Instagram and everywhere else across the interwebs we, as a generation, add our own commentary in public forums. As entertaining and amusing as this behavior can be when the shoe is not on our feet, it doesn't aid in providing a remedy for the situation or aid in the growth or rebuilding of the person(s) involved.

I also have my own issues that could very well make for a good "talk of the town" at any point in my life. We all do. And THIS is important to remember while we seek to condemn one based on our immediate opinion of them and their words/actions.

We are all but a stone’s throw away from condemnation.

*BEAM*

Then the sun showed up

Kissing me ever so deeply

Illuminating me from the inside out

Driving clouded melancholy from my heart

Bringing peace to my mind

Just like that, began a rhythm

Through me shone Love like the one you'd lost, only real

And I give it to you with every smile

You’re left inspired to kiss another, ever so deeply

Beginning with the sunshine in your eyes

From 'Heart of a Queen - Poetry and Prose from the Soul' 

Alone With Self and Consequences

This poem was written years ago but will finally be put into print with many others in my new book, "Heart of a Queen - Poetry and Prose from the Soul" coming January 2013

I think I’ll sit atop trees to cry these tears of mine so that people may say,

“Oh, it’s raining again,” instead of, “damn, she’s crying again?”

I sometimes wish that a thousand bugs would crawl across my skin

Leaving small bumps as evidence of their feeding so that I could think of that and not of you…

I want to drink until I black out so that I may have no remembrance of the look in your eyes the first time we met.

I wish that scientist and surgeons would all come together to perform a revolutionary procedure removing all memories of you and me that are still creeping around in my mind…

I would like to be circumcised so that I may never touch myself again in an attempt to relive how it felt to make love to you…

I at times desire to have my hearing lost so that I cannot hear when people ask if I’ve seen you, or how have you been?  Because I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!

I want to have my hands removed so that I might not reach for you…as you walk on by…

© Nina Brewton 2012

#ThrowbackThursday - The Habit of Disappointment

From the archive: 1/30/11 - I woke up feeling quite disappointed in myself. From my excessive use of blue cheese dressing to my failure to write consistently, I've been slippin'...

Layered in between the blue cheese and my loss of significant use of words you can find too much sleep and not enough prayer. Over-eating and lack of cardio...

It is believed that it takes 21 days to form a new habit - whether that habit be good or bad. I have found this to be true, which is why it is detrimental to our continued growth that we not "wait til Monday" to go back to the gym or the beginning of the month to start eating right.

If it takes 21 days for a new habit to be formed, NOW is as crucial as ever. Although I woke up disappointed for various reason, I can't allow myself to remain disappointed for too long. NOW, not tomorrow, not next week, NOW is the time to take an honest assessment, shake off the disappointment and keep it moving.

"There is therefore now no condemnation to those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but according to the Spirit."

Romans 8:1 shares a great promise to those who are in Christ. Now to just STOP walking according to my flesh...self-control in every area...

Every day that we wallow in what we didn't do yesterday is throwing God's gift of today back in His face! 

TODAY is what we have. Shake of the habits that keep you bound in disappointment and GO FORTH in the gifts of grace and mercy that we receive with each new day! 

Dramas: Loving Me & The Things I Hate About Me

I hate that I'm the one to always reach out...

...that I seem to love harder than ppl seem 2 love me...

...that my heart is as big and as open as it is...and that I can't help but show it...

...that I cry over the sunrise and Kleenex commercials...

...that I am either hot or cold...

...that there is no gray area...

...that I am so expressive...

...that I oftentimes want more for others than they want for themselves...

...that I find it easier to encourage/support others more than I encourage/support myself...

...that I...

...that I still struggle with loving the things I hate about myself.

But because I realize Who created me, I am learning to love me, and all of the things I hate about me…

…because all of these things, are what make me me.

I understand that my heart is open in a world so easily closed off to the warmth of a full heart...

...that people may not know how to love…

…that maybe I can show them how…

...that God gave me arms for reaching…especially for those who pull away…

...that it's my responsibility to teach people how to love me...

…that sometimes, people want more for me than I want for myself…

…that people know they can count on me for encouragement and support…

…I am learning to love me…in spite of me.

To love me just as God created me to be.

#NaturalHair - The New Bougie

Note:  If you would prefer to view the vlog based on this same topic, please see the video below! ;-)

I have recently had mixed emotions about the sudden "trend" of sisters wearing natural hair as I have worn my hair natural for the majority of my adult life after completing my first "big chop" when I was 15 years old -- before there was ever a big chop to be had.

With recent popularity, I found that I began to take a somewhat elitist stance on natural hair, making me no better than the sisters who choose to go natural or even rock a "bald head" because it's the current "in" thing to do. I was no better than the hair care/beauty industries, magazines and advertisers who are riding this new wave to capitalize on the trend.  

I had to take a step back and realize that, from pop culture to politics, sometimes it takes a trend or a "fad" to generate change in the hearts of even one person and in turn, that one person can be the spark that revolutionizes the world.

So, who am I to keep the trend from growing into a true way of life?

As I've grown as a woman and a “naturalista”, I am dedicated to not only sharing with sisters the truth that "good hair is healthy hair" and that natural hair is healthier hair but that living a healthy lifestyle overall enhances our beauty in ways that go well beyond the way we wear our hair.

I’m no “natural hair Nazi” who feels that all women should wear natural hair. My concern is for sisters who feel they can’t wear natural hair and be beautiful; those who feel their hair has to be “relaxed” to be “good”. My issue is the same for sisters who feel they have to wear make-up, weave, false lashes…

But this isn’t about them right now…

This is about us. This is about those of us who have somehow managed to “recondition” our minds to understand that we don’t have to maintain societal standards of beauty. This is about our position and the power that we have to encourage those sisters who are still growing in their hair journey.

How dare we take an elitist stance on something that many of us struggled with ourselves? Many not so long ago…

Most of us were raised by generations of women who depended on lye, weaves and wigs to fit into European standards of beauty. As sisters attempt to renew their thinking, they should not feel alienated because they haven’t “arrived” to where you are in your natural hair revolution!

As with any other area of life, growth and revelation are an ongoing process. For those of us who have found comfort and confidence in our own natural texture of hair, we should be encouraging our sisters in every way possible to feel beautiful, regardless of their current position in life.

                                                                                          

We don’t want sisters to fail to see all of the benefits and beauty that comes with being natural. We don’t want our lifestyle to not be received, or even considered, because of an uppity, belittling attitude towards those who are still growing with us. As with anything, presentation is everything.

***Quick sidenote/example: I hate math. Always have and I’m certain I always will. Regardless of how I feel about the subject, math was an important part of my intellectual, scholastic and social development.

As much as I disliked math, I wasn’t a total failure at because every so often, I would be assigned to a teacher who was willing to be patient and work with my non-mathematical mind, presenting equations and formulas in a way that I would understand and receive. Their angle made the difference. Many were able to make it so that I actually enjoyed the class! Who would have ever thought...?

So, bottom line: Get over yourself. In all things you do, seek to inspire others to be their best and to recognize the beauty that was planted within them when they were created. Sisters have it hard enough without us tearing one another down.

May the trend continue to grow and may the revolution begin with you! To my sisters considering going natural, welcome to the club! Don't stop til you get enough! *cues MJ*