I Am Light

You ever experience a person who quietly enters the room but everyone seems to turn to look at them? That attraction isn't mere beauty...

Those who walk in a room and command attention do so with their presence first, which is a direct connection to their energy.

Contrary to popular belief, people are not attracted to our beauty, our clothes, etc. They are either attracted, or not attracted to our energy -- which we convey through our outward appearance.

You ever notice that person in the room who always seems to "try too hard" to get attention?

This is why it's important to understand that our bodies, our style, our money, none of it makes us who we are. WE make those things by WHO we are.

"There's just something about her..."
"He's just got IT..."

What is "it"?

It's energy.

If our energy is peaceful, others will feel peace when they're in our presence. If it is confident, loving, loyal, etc...do the math!
;-)

When we change our energy, we'll change our lives! Once we change our lives, we'll change the world, sometimes by simply confidently walking in a room.

Final thoughts:

Our sharing light and love does not automatically guarantee that everyone will like us. Some people are so used the darkness, they are irritated by the presence of light.

*BEAM*

Just Say No to #NoNewFriends

So, there's a new hashtag/catchphrase going around. I just learned that #NoNewFriends is based on a Drake song by the same name. 

I haven't heard the song but I, for one, LOVE meting new people. Everyone won't be a "bestie" or even an actual "friend" but don't limit yourself because of fear of disappointment. Just learn to be more discerning about your immediate circle and the expectations you place on people. 

Everyone has their place. Some closer than others. 

And just think, adopting a #NoNewFriends mentality may keep the wrong friends in your life for far too long! The same attitude may keep people OUT who God may use to take your life in a new direction! 

This brings me back to a blog that I started based on a conversation with a young, successful actor from my hometown on FB about a week ago. He asked:

"Why is it our culture makes you feel bad about your accomplishments? When I left Wichita I was told to be the best, and now I'm in a position of success I've changed. I'm still the same Tyrice who grew up on 13th and Minnesota! I never changed, your perception of me changed."

His words are noble. Honorable even. Growing up, we all have dreams that we'll make it to the top and bring all of our best friends and main men along with us but the fact of the matter is, not everyone is meant to remain your friend or "roll dog" for life. Not everyone positioned to go where you're going in the world. 

If we're working hard to pursue our dreams and live a life of purpose then it should show! You should have "changed" in the eyes of others. I told young Tyrice:

"If you're the same person that you were on 13th and Minnesota, then you may need to go back to and start over. No one can make you feel bad about your accomplishments..."

Working with students/youth who are college or military bound, I tell them all the time,

"you'll go home to visit and find many of your friends and family doing the same stuff they were doing when you left, and that's okay."

I shared this with Tyrice and continued, 

"YOU have to be okay with being better/different than you were when you left. It is not your responsibility to make people comfortable with the person you're becoming. If they feel "some kind of way", they need to re-examine who they are (and are not)."

I went on to tell he and all the others now involved in his original post a story (because I have a story for everything): 

"Last year I was working at a local Olive Garden and one of my co-workers, angry with my happy-go-lucky demeanor, yelled across the kitchen, "NINA THINKS SHE'S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY!" I paused, turned around and assured him that his insecurities told him that I was better than him. I am mindful that my actions never say, "I'm better than..." anyone. I am better than *I* used to be. That's all I can speak for."

The good thing is this: (lots of colons in this post) 

We'll find that we generally won't have to separate ourselves from our pasts or the people in it! If we just allow it and continue moving forward, we will find that we'll shed ourselves of EVERYTHING (including people) from our former life. It will truly happen naturally, without strive! It's when we try to hold on to our past that the transition becomes painful!

Know When to Release and When to Reach

JUST DO IT!

I feel fat. I look in the mirror and see frumpy, bloated and I feel like I'm not making any progress. I see myself in the mirror and my mind begins playing tricks on me and convincing me that my efforts are in vain.

*pause*

This? These thoughts. None of this is true. Progress always begins within.

I can feel it. My muscles are experiencing a pleasing pain. The type of pain that lets me know that I'm growing stronger. Sure, I have yet to see substantial progress on my scale, or even in my favorite pair of jeans. It's at moments like these when I want to give up because I have yet to see the fruit of my labor. It's also at this point that I know I have to push. 

Just as with any level of faith, you have to see it before you see it! Visualizing yourself as a success is a primary key to reaching that desired place!

You'll feel the pain. You'll feel the tension. You'll feel like your body is against you. Like, some outside force is against your very happiness. You'll think it's easier to stay in bed when you should be putting forth effort! You'll "swear" that you'll get back on the horse tomorrow and the next thing you know, it's next year and you've gained 20 pounds. 

EEK!?!?

Nike said it best with their 80's catchphrase. During that time I didn't fully understand the strength behind those three words. Here, now over thirty years later, I finally get it. 

It's amazing what you can accomplish after you've convinced your mind to stop saying you can't! To DO. To allow yourself to BE the best you that you can be! You can do more with two weeks of consistency than you can with a YEAR of excuses! Don't be afraid to start where you ARE. JUST START!

These pictures are only TWO WEEKS after I began consistent strength training! 

Progress doesn't take long, it just takes CONSISTENCY and EFFORT! 

THIS IS A WARNING!!! We Live and Learn, From Each Other

It is VERY easy for people to fake success and even whole businesses via social media. Do not let a person's "clean" look, or even Jesus speak and talk about faith convince you that they are a legitimate company. Make certain to THOROUGHLY research and receive referrals from trusted agents before spending any money in support of an online business. 

STORY TIME!

A few years ago, I was invited to write an article for a "magazine" that was created by someone I'd met online. Although we met via social media, we eventually met during a trip to Atlanta and continued to build a personal and professional relationship.  After months of supporting their "business", I discovered that the individual was charging people for ad space and photo shoots for features in a magazine that didn't exist.

It didn't take much: He used his popularity between a few major cities, combined it with the use of a decent camera, worked the basics of a photo editing program, added in articles from a few writer friends, print and voila!  I was excited for the brother when I saw he and his "team" with pics of the debut release -- the fruit of their labor! They followed all of those steps and had their circle of influence convinced that they have a legitimate publication! 

I came to know about this "hustle" after communicating with a mutual connection from Twitter. This sister had been one of the supporters who paid for a photo-shoot and ad space. In this case, I turned out lucky. The only thing I lost was a waste of a great concept for an article. This sister, and Lord knows how many others, were out hundreds of dollars after expecting to share news of her business with a whole region! 

As independent artists, it is most important to invest in our brand. As with any investment, there are risks involved but do not be deceived by one's perceived success because of their presence online. With the technological age, doors have been opened like never before. Not only is this beneficial for a new wave of entrepreneurs but there is a whole new breed of people out here hustling those who are truly working hard, legitimately using social media and the trust of others to make a name for themselves.

THIS is why I dislike the term "hustle" in regards to hard work in business. "HUSTLING" is not synonymous with hard work. HUSTLE is what people do to AVOID hard work but to reap the benefits that generally come from hard work. 

NOTE: Unless of course, you work for the Oklahoma Thunder. Please, hustle along! 

We, as we've done with most matters of language, have changed the word "hustle" to mean various things by using it so loosely. Bottom line is, no one wants to be hustled and hustlers have never been viewed as trustworthy individuals. As for me, I'll be a hard worker all the days of my life but will never call myself a hustler. 

It is my earnest prayer that people will always know me as a reliable and trustworthy individual. - *BEAM*

Plucking Fruit - What Do You Bear?

"One's failure to love | Is a tree which yields no fruit | Leaving all hearts starved" 

  Heart of a Queen - Poetry and Prose from the Soul, 

© 2013 Write Right Publications

We've all heard it countless times. From our mother and auntie to girlfriends and co-workers and some of us, have even uttered the words ourselves.

"Oh my goodness! He is plucking my last nerve!?"

In those moments when we find ourselves utterly annoyed or aghast at someone's behavior, it is easy to give them control over our emotions, lending our last slice of peace.

Lord forbid we "wake up on the wrong side of the bed", then every little thing rubs us the wrong way as we project negative energy on any and everybody who crosses our path.

So, what are we to do about these nuances? Are we to give every person who plucks our nerves a piece of our mind or...

...maybe if we change what we make available for plucking.

Think of it like this: If we are the branches that were created to bear fruit, we have to be mindful of what fruit we're bearing.

If the Fruit of the Spirit are "love, joy, peace, long-suffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control" then, why is it that our nerves are so easily exposed?

If we learn to consistently take the time to consume those same wonderfully nutrient rich fruits daily, we will find that our FRUIT is being plucked instead of our nerves.

This is not to be unrealistic. It is only natural for life's dramas and all the players in it to potentially frustrate us to a certain level of aggravation. But what does being quick to speak and react do for a situation?

A change of perspective can make all the difference. Although our emotions are real, we must not be ruled by them. When those moments in life arise, stop and ask yourself, "what fruit am I bearing?"

A Wrinkle in Time

These lines aren't mere evidence of a woman and all her imperfections.

These lines tell the story of a life worth living and a smile worth giving. With age comes wisdom and with wisdom we find our true beauty.

Learn to give thanks for all the years that have made you and embrace the years to come!

Did You Know that You're Beautiful?

I’ve often shared with my students, sister-friends and others I speak with, the importance of wearing confidence along with everything else we put on from day to day. Dove has created a short documentary that shows us just how important this is. Perhaps you’ve seen it but if not, here it is. 

I encourage you all to take the time to watch it and share it with every woman you know so that we can begin behold our own beauty.