We received an assignment last week from our Pastor, Jerome Barber. He directed his Wednesday night congregation to dedicate Wednesdays, if no other day, in 2008 to work on us. He told us to make a conscious effort on Wednesdays to pray for ourselves; to focus on those things that we would like to change by the end of 2008. He told us to make a list of the things that we would like to change by the last Wednesday of the year, (which happens to be New Year’s Eve) put it in an envelope and hold on to it until that last Wednesday night Bible study of 2008 at which point we would open our envelopes, to find what I’m sure would be some half remembered goals…out of sight out of mind right? But God is just so “God” that whether we forget about things or not, once we pray something, God is already in the business of making it happen…still in His own time.
So last Wednesday night when I got home, I sat down to do my homework I just knew I’d be able to come up with something!? And I did, the normal things like, “change my physical being”, “Help me to be more consistent…in general”, “Increased self-control”, you know, the norm. I was tired and frustrated with my little list and decided to pray and ask God what HE wanted to change…what needed to be changed in me in the next year. “I’ll have it by next Wednesday, Lord” I promised.
So here I am, in the second Wednesday of 2008 and yes, God is already doing what He does. I’ve already grown and matured in one week and…I didn’t even really ask for anything…not really. Or did I?
For January 9th, Oswald Chambers refers to Psalm 139 in his historic, “My Utmost for His Highest”, “Thou art the God of the early mornings…the late at nights…the mountain peaks…and the sea; but my God, my soul has further horizons than the early mornings, deeper darkness than the nights of the earth…higher peaks…greater depths than any sea in nature—Thou who art the God of all these, be my God. (emphasis mine) I cannot reach to the heights or to the depths [of my soul]; there are motives I cannot trace, dreams I cannot get at—my God, search me out.”
“Be my God.” “…search me out.” I realized that there is no way that I can possibly pray for the things that need to change in me until I ask God to search me out. There are areas in me that I have no idea about. There are things that are so deep in me; dreams, motives, sin...the good, the bad and the ugly…that unless God shows me daily, I may never know.
What 2008, every day in it and really every day our lives come down to is having more of God. Gaining greater understanding, learning to worship Him…oh yes, fall in love if you will. Love on Him the way we would love on a new lover…a good friend…a child. Fall in love. When we are in a relationship with someone, we always strive to be better for that person. As we grow closer to God, we will learn more about ourselves and in turn, He will work on us from the inside out.