Thursday, February 14, 2008

Discussion: Motivation

Why have I lacked it? For almost four weeks I have failed. I have failed to wake up before 7am, I have failed to run with my God-given legs. I have failed to complete at least two homework assignments on time...and blogging...ugh...What is it that has caused me to lose my motivation?

It feels like literally from one day to the next, I went from answering 0530 wake up calls from God to finding familiar comfort in the 10 minute snooze of my Blackberry Curve. I have been blessed beyond belief already in 2008 as God CONTINUES to be His merciful, loving self and yet I have again found it difficult to simply get OUT of bed to speak to Him in the mornings...sometimes, I lay in bed at night and chat with Him...I thank Him for another day just as I roll to my right side and fall into a fog of slumber. I speak to Him throughout my day. Sometimes singing to Him, other times, talking to Him about my students or my homework or just sending up a quick, "Lord, help me."

I speak to Him...but when it comes time to get on my knees...ugh. I long for the days when I could stay up for hours past my "bedtime" and sing and pray and sometimes just lay and listen...I long for the energy (or obedience) to go for a run and interpret every breath as a prayer from the Spirit..."I NEED YOU LORD?!?!!?"

But where is my motivation? Where is my drive to SHOW that I need Him...that I want Him...that I want to walk in His will? Let me step out of this "spiritually" and just ask...where is my motivation? In my natural, womanly body and mind, where is that lil' something inside of me that moves me to really work to take off the pounds (and inches) where is that part of me that wakes up excited to write what is on my mind? And can I just GET MY HOMEWORK done for cryin' out loud?!?! Nina, do your homework?! It's a ROUGH DRAFT!? Write it and post it. Four pages. Boom. You're done. But

It's not even that I'm in a "blah" kind of mood. You know? Sometimes you just have those days where it might be raining out, (ladies) maybe you're PMSing and every little thing just gets on your nerves and you have no motivation to do anything but sleep...well, that's not the case this time. Although I do love sleeping, I have simply not utilized every minute of my day to its greatest capacity. But I’ve been in a great mood…I’ve just been unproductive…

What is it that makes us lose our motivation? What is it that makes people want to just “quit” or give up for a while…or forever?

How do you get out of your “rut”?

Blah, blah, blah…I could go on and on but…I’m not motivated! LOL! Tomorrow is a new day and it WILL be productive, “If the Lord see fit to let me live!” © My second stepmother
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