"I'll Give You Somethin' to Cry ABOUT!"

As corny as some of these sound, the concept makes perfect sense. Part of our interaction with children is to teach by SHOWING them how to effectively communicate as we teach them other life lessons, manners, etc.

We have to start treating them as young "people" because well, they are. 

If we wouldn't allow other adults to speak to us so harshly, why should we do the same to mere children?

Furthermore, the age old adage that "children should be seen, not heard" needs to be put to rest. We teach children the importance of timing and tact, key elements in healthy communication and building healthy relationships, when we allow them to speak their minds and express themselves. This also aids in healthy emotional/psychological development. No one likes to be "shut down" every time they attempt to share how they feel/what they think. 

Of course there will always be exceptions based on specific children and situations but keep this thinking in mind the next time you speak to a child.

Really, taking this approach and working to be patient enough to ask our youth questions about their behavior/feelings helps to improve their comprehension and enables them to be able to think for themselves and adequately convey what they're feeling.

I tell children (and teens) all the time, "use your words" and "I need you to be able to tell me WHY you feel the way you feel or WHY you're behaving in this way".

When I was growing up, "I dunno" was NOT an acceptable answer!

#WordsMatter #BeInspired #BEInspiredAsIAMInspired#LightBegetsLight #WeBeTheLight

#TheLostFiles - 'Noise' - 10/5/10

Noise.  The world is full of noise.  And distractions…

Some days I wake up and it rings in my ears immediately…other times, I was restless during a night’s sleep thinking about what I would say to the noise…who would listen to mine…sometimes, we dream of noise.

This week, I decided to detoxify my body. Through disciplined consumption of fruits, some vegetables and, protein, and other fluids, it has been my goal to cleanse my body of any toxins that may be present in an attempt to jump-start my progress towards physical fitness goals.  It is my hope that this detox will supplement the healthy choices I’ve been making for about three months now.  I also seek to remain motivated and dedicated to the healthy lifestyle that I have finally found my way back into.

I decided that now would be a good time take a step back and re-evaluate where I stand professionally.  I have recently become frustrated with my position in life all over again.  I see the vision God has given me daily…it tugs at my heart every time I see a young person struggling with the do’s and don’ts of life – with the relationships their in, with the transitions that they go through. 

The vision is vivid.  And although I recognize the colors as mine, and even some of the shapes and smells of the vision, too often, I place that vision on the back burner to support the dreams and ideas of others.  To promote music and events and people who I believe in…oftentimes failing to support and believe in myself.

Through the use of social media, I have gathered an outstanding network of people.  Many who are visionaries and driven towards success just as I am.  We build daily  and encourage one another regularly and I know without a shadow of a doubt, that many of these vary people will be some of my greatest supporters when the time comes to buy my book, promote my shows or invite me to speak to their youth group or organization.  Many have already displayed great potential in being a part of the network that God will use to catapult my vision to levels that I have yet to imagine.

Facebook and Twitter both started out as a great way for me to network and promote artists/events that I support but it QUICKLY became a whole lot of everything but that.

Again, a lot of what I long to do professionally is based around social media. From promoting artists and events that I'm involved with to networking and promoting myself as a writer/speaker/vocalist, social media can be a phenomenal tool...

...on the same token, being that I am such a transparent and social person, it is easy to get distracted with simply being a "life commentator" (as I've been called) and being "social" instead of focusing on the potential business...

I want every tweet to be meaningful, that way, when people see me in their timeline, they truly value what I have to say and not just disregard my tweets because I'm talking about what I made for dinner...

If I am to build a brand and use social media as a means of building that, then, it needs to be more purposeful...

  

Communication. 

“Everything is driven my communication.  We are constantly talking to each other…determined to be heard.  “The enemy has us so busy communicating with each other, that he’s using systems to make us talk to each other…” and in turn, we’re failing to communicate with God.

Our communication with each other is an expensive trick…we’re being charged to talk to each other.  It’s costly to keep speaking to each other and even more costly to not speak to God.

"Giving Credit Where Credit is Due"

This note was originally in response to a note on Facebook by a young lady named Rochelle but after being "checked" by facebook and getting my looong reply shut down, I decided to just write a note myself. And then it turned into a blog!??!?!

This note is not dedicated to only Rochelle, but to anyone who is currently in any sort of "romantic" relationship and if you're not and you read this, I pray that the words will be useful to your life somewhere in your future…

Rochelle,

First of all, I'd like to commend you for giving credit where credit is due. Our men need to hear us admit that we are wrong (when we are wrong). It takes a strong person to humble themselves and admit when we have hurt someone else, regardless of the reason...I am SO very glad for one line that you said in this note...a lot of it was important, very important, but the number one thing for you to always remember is that you DESERVE to be loved!? No matter what you've done, what's been done to you or even who you give love to, you deserve to be loved, respected, cared for...all of those things that your heart desires and your life needs, you deserve.

Don't you dare ever settle for anything less...and just like you deserve all of these things, so do our men. Women often get caught up in wanting so much "respect" that we forget to give it. We are used to seeing our mothers, aunts, sisters, friends being the victims of "no good men" that being disrespected has become the expectation. Don't ever let this be your expectation...but in order to receive, you've gotta give.

I wish I could meet this young man...and hope that I can some day...in the meanwhile I pray that you two are walking in God's will and that you are learning to COMMUNICATE. Communication is the ultimate key to any relationship. People think the key is trust but if you are communicating, the trust will be established. Others think it's good sex...um...if you're communicating, the sex will BE. GOOD. (When it's time of course!!!!??? Ha!)

The only way armies can be effective in war is with open, clear lines of communication. Without communication, there is no unity, without unity, the battle will be lost...Understand that relationships, marriages in particular, are ordained by God and they represent His relationship with us. Anything that looks like God, the enemy wants to destroy. This is why relationships are always attacked. This is why the divorce rate is so high, in this country in particular…because we are at "war".

I don't mean to get all "spooky" or "religious" on you but for real, take a look at the relationships of those around you and even your own and ask what is it that causes any drama that we/they encounter? Most times, it will be miscommunication that leads to arguments, fights or whatever…I could go on and on, but I'm tired *looks at clock* so, I'll leave you with this...

Ephesians 4:2-3 (NLT) 2 "Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace."

Humility+Patience+Communication=Peace=Unity