Just Say No to #NoNewFriends

So, there's a new hashtag/catchphrase going around. I just learned that #NoNewFriends is based on a Drake song by the same name. 

I haven't heard the song but I, for one, LOVE meting new people. Everyone won't be a "bestie" or even an actual "friend" but don't limit yourself because of fear of disappointment. Just learn to be more discerning about your immediate circle and the expectations you place on people. 

Everyone has their place. Some closer than others. 

And just think, adopting a #NoNewFriends mentality may keep the wrong friends in your life for far too long! The same attitude may keep people OUT who God may use to take your life in a new direction! 

This brings me back to a blog that I started based on a conversation with a young, successful actor from my hometown on FB about a week ago. He asked:

"Why is it our culture makes you feel bad about your accomplishments? When I left Wichita I was told to be the best, and now I'm in a position of success I've changed. I'm still the same Tyrice who grew up on 13th and Minnesota! I never changed, your perception of me changed."

His words are noble. Honorable even. Growing up, we all have dreams that we'll make it to the top and bring all of our best friends and main men along with us but the fact of the matter is, not everyone is meant to remain your friend or "roll dog" for life. Not everyone positioned to go where you're going in the world. 

If we're working hard to pursue our dreams and live a life of purpose then it should show! You should have "changed" in the eyes of others. I told young Tyrice:

"If you're the same person that you were on 13th and Minnesota, then you may need to go back to and start over. No one can make you feel bad about your accomplishments..."

Working with students/youth who are college or military bound, I tell them all the time,

"you'll go home to visit and find many of your friends and family doing the same stuff they were doing when you left, and that's okay."

I shared this with Tyrice and continued, 

"YOU have to be okay with being better/different than you were when you left. It is not your responsibility to make people comfortable with the person you're becoming. If they feel "some kind of way", they need to re-examine who they are (and are not)."

I went on to tell he and all the others now involved in his original post a story (because I have a story for everything): 

"Last year I was working at a local Olive Garden and one of my co-workers, angry with my happy-go-lucky demeanor, yelled across the kitchen, "NINA THINKS SHE'S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY!" I paused, turned around and assured him that his insecurities told him that I was better than him. I am mindful that my actions never say, "I'm better than..." anyone. I am better than *I* used to be. That's all I can speak for."

The good thing is this: (lots of colons in this post) 

We'll find that we generally won't have to separate ourselves from our pasts or the people in it! If we just allow it and continue moving forward, we will find that we'll shed ourselves of EVERYTHING (including people) from our former life. It will truly happen naturally, without strive! It's when we try to hold on to our past that the transition becomes painful!

Know When to Release and When to Reach

Pruning and Purging

To all of you dealing w/the purging of "friends" in your life, again I remind you that you are not alone in this purging season. A plentiful harvest cannot come forth without properly purging. The harvest you’ve been expecting from your sowing is coming forth. Be prepared to receive it! If you hold on to what God is trying to remove, you won't have room to receive what He has for you! MAKE ROOM in your life for the promises of God to come to fruition!

Be mindful, when you are purging to not be too rough on the pieces you’re removing! Those pieces may not be dead totally and can be revived later with time and proper care. Just like with pruning a plant...there may be a piece that was too weak to help the whole plant grow, but on its own, it can flourish, becoming a whole new plant later in life. Relationships are the same way. Some may not be healthy for your growth NOW, but in the future, they may be a vital part of your life.

So, as you prune and purge, do not do so with a spiteful heart. Always walk in love and grace. I am glad to say that I am still friends with many who, at one point, were removed from my life! No distaste or bitterness involved!

I give thanks to God for allowing my life and my experiences to help you overcome! He is so good!

A Name is More Than Just a Name: Nina = Grace (Hebrew)

I am finally glad that God made me the type of person to be a friend to people even when they're don't act like friends to me. Growing up, my being gracious made me feel weak & vulnerable. Although I am a "social butterfly", I oftentimes found myself hurt & feeling alone.

As a woman growing in God's will, I understand the importance of being that gracious person. I understand the freedom that comes from extending grace to those whom I call friend. Even more importantly, I thank God that people know that they can depend on me no matter what.

I've grown to understand that sometimes, people don't really know how to be real friends because they too have been hurt and instead of loving harder, they keep people at a distance, they hurt others, adopting the concept of "misery loves company". Even still, sometimes, people don't recognize they're even hurting you.

And so, to those who have called me friend over the years but have shown me less than the love they say they have, it's okay...*smiling at God* ...don't see me as weak. I am far from lonely. And even though the actions of others still hurts at times, I have all that I need. Most importantly, I have the grace of God & His love in my heart that allows me to pour the same grace & love onto others who have need...

With all of that being said: I♥YOU

Your friend,

Nina

Prayer & Fasting-Focus #2 Friends & Family (Relationships)

So…people, build families and families build strong communities and the cycle carries on to create the world we live in. The Word speaks of a time when people will be:

Romans 1:30 “…backbiters, haters of God, violent, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents…” If our families can’t hold it together, how do we expect any salvation for the world lest we seek Jesus…?

We see evidence of this Scripture coming to pass DAILY.  Some in our personal lives, on TV, in music...it is everywhere.  This means that it's up to us to change the cycle in our lives. 

Lord, today I focus on You and Your relationships with people…or shall I say, our relationship with You. First and foremost, parents and their children need you. Families need you. Help young children and adult children alike understand that their parents are human too. Help them to be patient and loving towards their parents and allow parents to do the same with their children, regardless of their age. Increase their communication with one another Lord…not only communication but understanding of each other as well.

Ephesians 6:1-4 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth. 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord."

Heal our wounds and refresh us with Your Spirit…

We are human. No one is perfect but You Lord, and although many of us have You within us, righteousness only takes us but so far when it comes to other humans…allow parents to live according to Your will and may children see You in their parents, always…even when mistakes are made. May they see Your love and your intentions for their life…with You.

May relationships in general grow stronger because of Your strength. I pray that You show Yourself strong Lord, help us to make wise decisions regarding every relationship that we are introduced to and those that we are currently involved in.

Some relationships we’re born into and some, we walk into willingly. With those that we walk into, sometimes it’s Your will and other times, it’s our own. I ask that You help those that I know and love to receive a relationship (or greater relationship) with You FIRST.

From there Lord, I ask that You show them what relationships to hold onto and which ones to release. For those that they are called to maintain, I ask that you help them to cultivate those relationships according to Your will.

For every relationship that You’ve given to Raphael and I, help us to not only “fellowship” with our friends and family, but to show them You and encourage them with Your Spirit and Your Word. Always. Help us to minister to them constantly through our lives with You.

I pray all of these things in the name of Jesus. Amen. *says “Amen” in sign language…and sings it like the end of doxology* LOL