#NaturalHair - The New Bougie

Note:  If you would prefer to view the vlog based on this same topic, please see the video below! ;-)

I have recently had mixed emotions about the sudden "trend" of sisters wearing natural hair as I have worn my hair natural for the majority of my adult life after completing my first "big chop" when I was 15 years old -- before there was ever a big chop to be had.

With recent popularity, I found that I began to take a somewhat elitist stance on natural hair, making me no better than the sisters who choose to go natural or even rock a "bald head" because it's the current "in" thing to do. I was no better than the hair care/beauty industries, magazines and advertisers who are riding this new wave to capitalize on the trend.  

I had to take a step back and realize that, from pop culture to politics, sometimes it takes a trend or a "fad" to generate change in the hearts of even one person and in turn, that one person can be the spark that revolutionizes the world.

So, who am I to keep the trend from growing into a true way of life?

As I've grown as a woman and a “naturalista”, I am dedicated to not only sharing with sisters the truth that "good hair is healthy hair" and that natural hair is healthier hair but that living a healthy lifestyle overall enhances our beauty in ways that go well beyond the way we wear our hair.

I’m no “natural hair Nazi” who feels that all women should wear natural hair. My concern is for sisters who feel they can’t wear natural hair and be beautiful; those who feel their hair has to be “relaxed” to be “good”. My issue is the same for sisters who feel they have to wear make-up, weave, false lashes…

But this isn’t about them right now…

This is about us. This is about those of us who have somehow managed to “recondition” our minds to understand that we don’t have to maintain societal standards of beauty. This is about our position and the power that we have to encourage those sisters who are still growing in their hair journey.

How dare we take an elitist stance on something that many of us struggled with ourselves? Many not so long ago…

Most of us were raised by generations of women who depended on lye, weaves and wigs to fit into European standards of beauty. As sisters attempt to renew their thinking, they should not feel alienated because they haven’t “arrived” to where you are in your natural hair revolution!

As with any other area of life, growth and revelation are an ongoing process. For those of us who have found comfort and confidence in our own natural texture of hair, we should be encouraging our sisters in every way possible to feel beautiful, regardless of their current position in life.

                                                                                          

We don’t want sisters to fail to see all of the benefits and beauty that comes with being natural. We don’t want our lifestyle to not be received, or even considered, because of an uppity, belittling attitude towards those who are still growing with us. As with anything, presentation is everything.

***Quick sidenote/example: I hate math. Always have and I’m certain I always will. Regardless of how I feel about the subject, math was an important part of my intellectual, scholastic and social development.

As much as I disliked math, I wasn’t a total failure at because every so often, I would be assigned to a teacher who was willing to be patient and work with my non-mathematical mind, presenting equations and formulas in a way that I would understand and receive. Their angle made the difference. Many were able to make it so that I actually enjoyed the class! Who would have ever thought...?

So, bottom line: Get over yourself. In all things you do, seek to inspire others to be their best and to recognize the beauty that was planted within them when they were created. Sisters have it hard enough without us tearing one another down.

May the trend continue to grow and may the revolution begin with you! To my sisters considering going natural, welcome to the club! Don't stop til you get enough! *cues MJ*

Share My World

Even with a head cold and germs all around, I was able to participate in my first blogtalk radio show with Max Reddick.  Tonight, I was reminded that there truly is "Freedom Through Speech" as is the name of his weekly blogtalk radio show.  Mr. Reddick offered me the opportunity to share "How I Got Over" along with two other panelist, Nicole McLean, breast cancer survivor and author of the blog "My Fabulous Boobies" and Michael Stagg of "My II Sense" where he gives "his two cents" on topics such as personal development and how to live life "on purpose".

I am grateful for the world of technology and the various ways that we are able to share in the struggles and successes and lives of people who just hours ago, were total strangers.  Technology has opened us up to a world where, if we live outside of ourselves, are never alone.  Where, when we look at the lives of others, we find that our situation may not be as bad as we initially thought.  Not that we should ever wish "worse" on anyone but we get to a point where we recognize that much can be learned through the testimony of those around us.

Tonight I was able to share my world.  When I was first asked to give a part of my testimony, I didn't know how much to give.  I didn't even know where to begin.  I asked God to speak through me and to give just enough and, even though at times I felt I was rambling, I pray that my testimony spoke to the heart of someone out there.  I trust that all the living I've done was not in vain.  That the pain that I endured all while trying to find "liberation" and "freedom" were stepping stones to get me to the mountain I stand upon today!

During the panel discussion, Michael and I were asked if we ever saw the trials coming.  If there was ever a point where we stopped to consider if the way impact that our lifestyle would have on our future or did we just wake up one day like, "Oh my...how'd I get here?!"  I shared that I knew I was living reckless the whole time.  That I justified my promiscuous behavior and dependency on alcohol by claiming to be a "liberated woman" who cared not what people thought of me or my behavior when in all actuality, I did.

When living in this world, you can't help but care what people think of you.  The way people see you is a sure sign of the way you're living.  Of course we should never live our lives solely based on the opinions of others but there is a lot to be said about how people see you.

In early 2003 I found myself caught up in a whirlwind of anger and resentment towards myself.  There was no one to blame. But I took my self-loathing out on whoever crossed my path at the wrong time.  Men who loved me, friends who were there for me, waitresses who needed extra training in customer service...if you crossed me, you CAUGHT it.  To answer the question posed to me earlier this evening, my response was, "Yes, I knew I was a whore claiming the role of a 'pimp'", taking advantage of those who wanted to give me nothing but the best...wasting away all in the name of "liberation".  I recognized that change had to come, and quick...

More to come later this week...I am sick and need to be in the bed! Good night! 11:43PM EST