Getting What You Deserve...Or Not

We are naturally self-centered...selfish even. Selfishness is known to be human nature but we all know many people who seem to have hearts of gold and are able to give and do without expecting anything in return. 

It's also natural and only right to give credit where credit is due. However...

...don't worry about fighting/begging to receive what you (think you) deserve. Keep playing YOUR PART and your every need will be met. Not just in business but in EVERY relationship.

If we meet the needs of those we say we love/respect, they'll bend over backwards to meet ours. 

And FYI for married couples: The law of ‪#‎sowingandreaping works at home too.

It really is quite simple.

I used to get so frustrated for not receiving recognition or the return I thought I deserved for a job well done. God had to show me that my job is to continue doing what I've been called to do, be it at work, in my marriage or otherwise.

I was called to do my BEST, wherever I am planted! Whether in ministry or as a server at a BBQ joint, once I TRULY learned the meaning of having a servant's heart, I began to find peace – not only in what I do for others but in the return I receive from my seed.

During this time, I also had to learn to use discernment when determining whether I was actually being neglected and/or taken advantage of or simply being selfish in my own expectations.

Dramas: Loving Me & The Things I Hate About Me

I hate that I'm the one to always reach out...

...that I seem to love harder than ppl seem 2 love me...

...that my heart is as big and as open as it is...and that I can't help but show it...

...that I cry over the sunrise and Kleenex commercials...

...that I am either hot or cold...

...that there is no gray area...

...that I am so expressive...

...that I oftentimes want more for others than they want for themselves...

...that I find it easier to encourage/support others more than I encourage/support myself...

...that I...

...that I still struggle with loving the things I hate about myself.

But because I realize Who created me, I am learning to love me, and all of the things I hate about me…

…because all of these things, are what make me me.

I understand that my heart is open in a world so easily closed off to the warmth of a full heart...

...that people may not know how to love…

…that maybe I can show them how…

...that God gave me arms for reaching…especially for those who pull away…

...that it's my responsibility to teach people how to love me...

…that sometimes, people want more for me than I want for myself…

…that people know they can count on me for encouragement and support…

…I am learning to love me…in spite of me.

To love me just as God created me to be.

Hear My Call - Standing On the Word

Lord, I thank You for Your word and I stand on that word knowing that You began a good work in me and that You will see it through to the end, to perfection. Philippians 1:6


I only want you glorified in all that I do. As I seek to glorify You, this releases from me any pressure to complete anything by my own strength. I know that I am nothing without You, my Creator, my Redeemer. John 14:13


May Your Light continue to shine through me, even when my natural eyes can't see the path illuminated before me because of doubt. Forgive me Lord for even allowing that doubt to begin to consume my mind. Matthew 5:14-16


Right now, I cast away worry, grief, doubt, every insecurity, every feeling of inadequacy and stand in Your presence giving thanks for being the loving, gracious God that You are. Mark 11:23


May others see Your goodness and love through this very situation at this very moment, may You be glorified. *exhales* ^_^

The Mary and Martha Within

I have been stressed.

Like, so stressed that the details of what the stress has been doing to my physical body is TMI. Lol

I have cried. Cried some more...laughed hysterically until tears overwhelmed me yet again...lost sleep, all because of my stress when it comes to what I know to be the will of God.  My life as a first time author has been exciting and exhilarating yet more stressful than even planning my own wedding just four short years ago.

God has not only provided me with awesome words to share my story, with the world but He's also surrounded this whole project with a collective of individuals who are dedicated to make this experience a great one.  I have still had to do quite a bit on my own but the parts that were out of my hands made the process more stressful than I expected.

But if I have such an amazing team of people working with me to bring 'Dramas of a Bald Head Queen' to fruition, why the stress?  If I trust the connections to truly be divine, why not trust in the Divine One who established said connections to complete the work He began in me so long ago?

Just this morning, I awoke to more doubtful and wearied thoughts.  I found myself getting angry and frustrated again with...myself.

God immediately reminded me that, in order to truly rest in Him, I must place myself in the posture of worshiper.  Even as a servant seeking to do the "greater good", bringing glory to God in the things I do and in walking according to His will, I have failed to walk in that part of servitude where I consciously worship.

Often times when we think of the story of Mary and Martha (Luke 10:38-42), we are able to point the finger at other individuals who we see in church or in our respective ministries who are doing "too much" yet, not enough.  God showed me this morning that this conflict has risen within me, one individual torn between walking in God's will and sitting and taking time to worship.

THIS is where my stress has come from and today, I release it and seek to worship God wholly trusting that the things He's called me to do will be done according to His will and the purpose He's called me to.

So, there are two words for today 1) balance and 2) worship.

We worship God in many ways.  We worship by serving, the giving of our time, talents, ultimately and by walking in obedience.  In this world, we need to find a balance between doing {for God} and being {with God}.

Today Lord, I worship You with my heart, with my presence, with my communion with You. I love You and release the stresses that are present only in my mind and rest in You.  Amen. *BEAM*