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Showing posts with label guidance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label guidance. Show all posts

Thursday, July 31, 2014

"I'll Give You Somethin' to Cry ABOUT!"



As corny as some of these sound, the concept makes perfect sense. Part of our interaction with children is to teach by SHOWING them how to effectively communicate as we teach them other life lessons, manners, etc.

We have to start treating them as young "people" because well, they are. 

If we wouldn't allow other adults to speak to us so harshly, why should we do the same to mere children?

Furthermore, the age old adage that "children should be seen, not heard" needs to be put to rest. We teach children the importance of timing and tact, key elements in healthy communication and building healthy relationships, when we allow them to speak their minds and express themselves. This also aids in healthy emotional/psychological development. No one likes to be "shut down" every time they attempt to share how they feel/what they think. 

Of course there will always be exceptions based on specific children and situations but keep this thinking in mind the next time you speak to a child.

Really, taking this approach and working to be patient enough to ask our youth questions about their behavior/feelings helps to improve their comprehension and enables them to be able to think for themselves and adequately convey what they're feeling.

I tell children (and teens) all the time, "use your words" and "I need you to be able to tell me WHY you feel the way you feel or WHY you're behaving in this way".

When I was growing up, "I dunno" was NOT an acceptable answer!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Just Say No to #NoNewFriends

So, there's a new hashtag/catchphrase going around. I just learned that #NoNewFriends is based on a Drake song by the same name. 

I haven't heard the song but I, for one, LOVE meting new people. Everyone won't be a "bestie" or even an actual "friend" but don't limit yourself because of fear of disappointment. Just learn to be more discerning about your immediate circle and the expectations you place on people. 

Everyone has their place. Some closer than others. 

And just think, adopting a #NoNewFriends mentality may keep the wrong friends in your life for far too long! The same attitude may keep people OUT who God may use to take your life in a new direction! 

This brings me back to a blog that I started based on a conversation with a young, successful actor from my hometown on FB about a week ago. He asked:
"Why is it our culture makes you feel bad about your accomplishments? When I left Wichita I was told to be the best, and now I'm in a position of success I've changed. I'm still the same Tyrice who grew up on 13th and Minnesota! I never changed, your perception of me changed."
His words are noble. Honorable even. Growing up, we all have dreams that we'll make it to the top and bring all of our best friends and main men along with us but the fact of the matter is, not everyone is meant to remain your friend or "roll dog" for life. Not everyone positioned to go where you're going in the world. 

If we're working hard to pursue our dreams and live a life of purpose then it should show! You should have "changed" in the eyes of others. I told young Tyrice:
"If you're the same person that you were on 13th and Minnesota, then you may need to go back to and start over. No one can make you feel bad about your accomplishments..."
Working with students/youth who are college or military bound, I tell them all the time,
"you'll go home to visit and find many of your friends and family doing the same stuff they were doing when you left, and that's okay."
I shared this with Tyrice and continued, 
"YOU have to be okay with being better/different than you were when you left. It is not your responsibility to make people comfortable with the person you're becoming. If they feel "some kind of way", they need to re-examine who they are (and are not)."
I went on to tell he and all the others now involved in his original post a story (because I have a story for everything): 
"Last year I was working at a local Olive Garden and one of my co-workers, angry with my happy-go-lucky demeanor, yelled across the kitchen, "NINA THINKS SHE'S BETTER THAN EVERYBODY!" I paused, turned around and assured him that his insecurities told him that I was better than him. I am mindful that my actions never say, "I'm better than..." anyone. I am better than *I* used to be. That's all I can speak for."
The good thing is this: (lots of colons in this post) 

We'll find that we generally won't have to separate ourselves from our pasts or the people in it! If we just allow it and continue moving forward, we will find that we'll shed ourselves of EVERYTHING (including people) from our former life. It will truly happen naturally, without strive! It's when we try to hold on to our past that the transition becomes painful!
Know When to Release and When to Reach