This poem was written years ago but will finally be put into print with many others in my new book, "Heart of a Queen - Poetry and Prose from the Soul" coming January 2013
I think I’ll sit atop trees to cry these tears of mine so that people may say,
I sometimes wish that a thousand bugs would crawl across my skin
Leaving small bumps as evidence of their feeding so that I could think of that and not of you…
I want to drink until I black out so that I may have no remembrance of the look in your eyes the first time we met.
I wish that scientist and surgeons would all come together to perform a revolutionary procedure removing all memories of you and me that are still creeping around in my mind…
I would like to be circumcised so that I may never touch myself again in an attempt to relive how it felt to make love to you…
I at times desire to have my hearing lost so that I cannot hear when people ask if I’ve seen you, or how have you been? Because I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!
I want to have my hands removed so that I might not reach for you…as you walk on by…
From the archive: 1/30/11 - I woke up feeling quite
disappointed in myself. From my excessive use of blue cheese dressing to my failure
to write consistently, I've been slippin'...
Layered in between the blue cheese and my loss
of significant use of words you can find too much sleep and not enough prayer.
Over-eating and lack of cardio...
It is believed that it takes 21 days to form a
new habit - whether that habit be good or bad. I have found this to be true,
which is why it is detrimental to our continued growth that we not "wait
til Monday" to go back to the gym or the beginning of the month to start
eating right.
If it takes 21 days for a new habit to be
formed, NOW is as crucial as ever. Although I woke up disappointed for various
reason, I can't allow myself to remain disappointed for too long. NOW, not
tomorrow, not next week, NOW is the time to take an honest assessment, shake
off the disappointment and keep it moving.
"There is therefore now no condemnation to
those who are in Christ Jesus, who do not walk according to the flesh, but
according to the Spirit."
Romans 8:1 shares a great promise to those who
are in Christ. Now to just STOP walking according to my flesh...self-control in
every area...
Every day that we wallow in what we didn't do
yesterday is throwing God's gift of today back in His face!
TODAY is what we have. Shake of the habits that
keep you bound in disappointment and GO FORTH in the gifts of grace and mercy
that we receive with each new day!
Note: If you would prefer to view the vlog based on this same topic, please see the video below! ;-)
I have recently had
mixed emotions about the sudden "trend" of sisters wearing natural
hair as I have worn my hair natural for the majority of my adult life after
completing my first "big chop" when I was 15 years old -- before there
was ever a big chop to be had.
With recent
popularity, I found that I began to take a somewhat elitist stance on natural
hair, making me no better than the sisters who choose to go natural or even
rock a "bald head" because it's the current "in" thing to
do. I was no better than the hair care/beauty industries, magazines and
advertisers who are riding this new wave to capitalize on the trend.
I
had to take a step back and realize that, from pop culture to politics,
sometimes it takes a trend or a "fad" to generate change in the
hearts of even one person and in turn, that one person can be the spark that
revolutionizes the world.
So, who am I to keep
the trend from growing into a true way of life?
As I've grown as a
woman and a “naturalista”, I am dedicated to not only sharing with sisters
the truth that "good hair is healthy hair" and that natural hair is
healthier hair but that living a healthy lifestyle overall enhances our beauty
in ways that go well beyond the way we wear our hair.
I’m no “natural hair
Nazi” who feels that all women should wear natural hair. My concern is for
sisters who feel they can’t wear
natural hair and be beautiful; those who feel their hair has to be “relaxed” to be “good”. My issue is the same for sisters
who feel they have to wear make-up, weave, false lashes…
But this isn’t about them right now…
This is about us. This is about those of us who have
somehow managed to “recondition” our minds to understand that we don’t have to
maintain societal standards of beauty. This
is about our position and the power that we have to encourage those sisters who
are still growing in their hair journey.
How dare we take an
elitist stance on something that many of us struggled with ourselves? Many not
so long ago…
Most of us were raised
by generations of women who depended on lye, weaves and wigs to fit into European
standards of beauty. As sisters attempt to renew their thinking, they should not
feel alienated because they haven’t “arrived” to where you are in your natural
hair revolution!
As with any other area
of life, growth and revelation are an ongoing process. For those of us who have
found comfort and confidence in our own natural texture of hair, we should be
encouraging our sisters in every way possible to feel beautiful, regardless of their current position in
life.
We don’t want sisters
to fail to see all of the benefits and beauty that comes with being natural. We
don’t want our lifestyle to not be received, or even considered, because of an uppity,
belittling attitude towards those who are still growing with us. As with
anything, presentation is everything.
***Quick sidenote/example: I hate math.
Always have and I’m certain I always will. Regardless of how I feel about the
subject, math was an important part of my intellectual, scholastic and social
development.
As much as I disliked
math, I wasn’t a total failure at because every so often, I would be assigned
to a teacher who was willing to be patient and work with my non-mathematical
mind, presenting equations and formulas in a way that I would understand and
receive. Their angle made the difference. Many were able to make it so that I
actually enjoyed the class! Who would
have ever thought...?
So, bottom line: Get
over yourself. In all things you do, seek to inspire others to be their best
and to recognize the beauty that was planted within them when they were
created. Sisters have it hard enough without us tearing one another down.
May the trend continue
to grow and may the revolution begin with you! To my sisters considering going natural, welcome to the club! Don't stop til you get enough! *cues MJ*
Note: Some prefer the book and others prefer the movie. At BE{AM} INSPIRED, I provide both to meet you where you are! Readers and viewers alike, enjoy!
I’m a believer in the idea
that nothing happens by chance. As we walk according to a pre-destined purpose,
opportunities are presented to us and from there, it’s our responsibility to either
take hold of such possibilities or pass them by.
I too have been guilty of “missing
the boat”, failing to walk through open doors due to a variety of made up inadequacies,
lack of funding and unfortunately, blatant lack of preparation.
But here I am. Proud to
finally be at a point in my life when, not only am I confident in who God has
created me to be, but I am prepared to walk according to the vision that He
placed in me so long ago.
This past weekend I was
invited to attend 'Dining with Bevy: Life with Purpose', an exclusive brunch hosted by Bevy Smith - socialista, fashionista
and SO much more! Beyond her work as a host for top music/fashion industry red
carpet events,Auntie Bevy,as she is
affectionately called in her Twitter world, is a woman dedicated to inspiring
others to believe in themselves and the power that lies within waiting to
be activated to in turn, inspire the world!
Upon entering the ‘mocktail’
reception at Bernardin's Fine Dining in Charlotte, Bevyputs her eyes on
you, making you feel as if you’re the most important person in the room!
Immediately excusing herself from conversations at hand, she takes the time to
greet every individual as they walk to the door while effortlessly engaging
others in conversation in between the arrival of her hand-selected guests.
After being ushered into the
beautiful main dining room at Bernardin’s, the brunch is called to order by
Bevy’s own lovely hands, elegantly tapping an empty wine glass holding a small
tea candle; nice touch Bernardin’s! *wink*
Having gathered everyone’s
attention, she begins by assuring us that, "everyone here is
qualified..."
Throughout the process of growing towards my destiny, I’ve
learned this truth over and over again as God convinced me about two years ago
that wherever He sends me - be it amongst celebrities, pastors, politicians, those with multiple degrees, whatever the case - He has qualified me to be wherever
He sends me.
WARNING: "People will often
give you the side eye (as if you don't belong here) but don't let that deter
you." - Bevy Smith
Too many people go through
life thinking that because they’re from Smalltown, USA or because they have no higher
education or come from a less than well-to-do family, that the visions, dreams
and aspirations within them aren’t worthy of pursuing.
Again, Bevy encouraged everyone to believe that "You
don't have to "get" somewhere to do something…" Reminding us
that there are plenty of people who were born and raised in big cities, or who
have families that provide them with every opportunity to succeed, who lack
ambition and motivation. Where you’re from has no warrant once you finally get
sight of where you’re going.
I tell my friends/followers in my social media world to 'Always #ChoosePeace'! Peace of mind can't be but, but is a choice that we make every day of our lives. Bevy made a decision to always seek 'tranquility, serenity and clarity' and has found that while seeking these things, she is able to sort through the noise, mess and naysayers when it comes to business, love and life and general.
If we would seek the intangible, we'd be that much
more prepared to receive our tangible desires when they come along. Bevy
reiterated many of the lessons I have learned in life and try to instill in my
viewers/readers.
A few more of my favorite Bevy quotes from the day:
The Incomparable Bevy Smith and I
"Everything we do should be reciprocal.”
The laws of sowing and reaping do apply, whether you’re consciously sowing or
not. This is why it is imperative that we be mindful of where we sow our seeds!
"I actually achieved my goals in TV and as
a writer. I was broke but fulfilled. I was still successful because I was doing
what I set out to do."
“There is equity in relationships! It's time to
start cashing in on the equity that is in the relationships you've been
building!”
I am grateful for the lessons learned from Bevy
sharing her life and journey with us. I am also grateful for the opportunity to
meet so many fabulous people who are looking to stand on ambition and take the
opportunities afforded them!
On ambition, Bevy reminded us, “when you're given
an opportunity, assess it, but don't be afraid to take it!" Determine that
fear and uncertainty will no longer hold you back from your purpose and vision!
I had to revisit this from last year! The Word of God stays TRUE! I declare: From this day on, I walk in revelation knowledge of the Word.
First of all, we cannot stay at home and reap. Just like a farmer cannot sow from sitting around doing nothing, neither shall he receive a harvest without action! Psalm 6:6-9 speaks to the life of the sluggard and shows us the truth that poverty will fall upon those who are unwilling to work.
With that being said, we must truly gain an understanding of this truth:
EVERY time we give, it IS given back to us! If we don't discern how we're receiving it, we will MISS the harvest!
1) Unexpected Income - We all like the idea of receiving random, unexpected money in the mail, but this is actually the LEAST of the harvest...however, it is VERY possible (I'm a witness!)
2) Favor - God speaking to somebody to do you good! Don't miss your favor! If you are a giver, SOMEBODY around you is trying to favor you! FOLLOW THE FAVOR!
The key to this is also one of the GREATEST areas of harvest that we can receive. If we don't have relationships with PEOPLE, how can God use others to extend His favor? We have to be in a position to receive and that always begins with our attitudes towards others.
3) Relationships and CONNECTIONS - Again, your harvest is in the hands of PEOPLE! If you don't discern your relationships...YOU'LL MISS YOUR HARVEST.
4) Opportunities - Open doors. When a GOD ORDAINED DOOR OPENS, WALK IN IT!
5) Ideas, Visions, Dreams and Plans - God will continue to bless us with ideas that can be used to build up the Kingdom. When we sow, God sees our level of spiritual maturity and sees that once we are obedient with a little.
6) Divine Obedience to Assignments - Give into the Kingdom! Whatever you give, YOU WILL PROSPER!
We so often miss our harvest because it comes in unexpected "packages". If you sow, ALWAYS look to receive your harvest! As with all things, practice discernment so you don't MISS IT!? Another word from Pastor Pitre: 'Be Seated'
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